This post was inspired partially by FlyLady’s latest newsletter, in which she yet again railed against perfectionism. We have talked before about how I have mixed feelings about her; I definitely owe her a debt of gratitude for getting me motivated, but I don’t agree with a lot of what she says. I was explaining to my husband that it’s the “bones” I like, but the minute she puts any meat on it, I find myself disagreeing.
But, back to perfectionism. She says that it’s bad; it causes unrealistic expectations and inertia. And it can. I’m not disagreeing with that. But properly harnessed, your perfectionism can also do wonders! You just have to pay a little more attention to it. Kind of like that poor plant sitting in your office window.
The first question you need to ask is: are you living by someone else’s definition of perfect or your own? The former is bad. It doesn’t take into account your own desires, your own priorities, or your own situation. The latter, however, we can work with.
My idea of perfect is no doubt different from yours: I don’t care about dust, but I have a near compulsion about sweeping. I don’t mind if we have to eat takeout – as long as dinner is on the table at a reasonable time and is fairly balanced – there’s a reason I like veggies on my pizza! I have to be on time to work, but if I’m putting on my jewelry at my desk, that’s okay.
So, figure out what your perfect is, and work for that, not someone else’s.
The second thing to ask is: how do I react to not achieving perfection? If you react by never trying again (or never trying at all, which is even worse), then perfectionism is a problem for you. But if you use failure as a learning experience, then you can rely on that perfectionism to motivate you, and if you fail, it is only a temporary setback: you can learn from the mistake and improve next time.
I pride myself on my cupcakes, but I have tried to make brown sugar frosting twice, and failed twice. The first was runny and turned into a sort of ganache. The second time, it turned into a sticky mess that wasn’t salvageable. Am I letting that failure to reach cupcake perfection stop me? No! I’ve made other cupcakes and frostings since then, and I’ll be trying the frosting again, too.
But maybe at a time when I don’t have anywhere to take the cupcakes, just in case.
... And Show Your Work! 